A collection of funny things that my husband says on a regular basis.
He always keeps me laughing!
"whoever sent her that anon saying she is beautiful must have been smoking weed all day since it’s 4/20"
i literally almost spat my drink out.
"That’s one way to be with your head in your hands."
— My husband while watching GoT.
"Oh god… oh god it’s so much… it’s everywhere… oh my god… it’s on my hand… it’s like butt paste… oh god…."
— I love my husband’s commentary while changing poopy diapers.
He has a lot of feels about The Hobbit.
Me: Wow. The Hobbit only got 65% on Rotten Tomatoes.
Husband: They can suck 65% of my dick!
So I’m taking some medicine for my cough right…
And I’m trying to build myself up because it does not smell good at all.
My husband then starts talking in the Batman voice…
“It’s not the medicine you need, but it’s the medicine you deserve.”
My husband's ex keeps trying to flirt...
Me: She wants the D.
Husband: She can want it all she wants but she ain't gonna get it. She's going to get the D-NIED.
Worst. Wording. EVER.
Husband: Our planes going down
Husband: I love you
Husband: On the runway I mean
Me: TERRIBLE WORDING OMG
Yeah. This just happened. I don't even...
Husband: we're all done for the day, so we're gonna finish eating domino's and shower and then play some halo
Me: gonna play without me again. I see. maybe i should play then get on a team against you and spawn kill you the whole time.
Me: would you be mad?
Husband: I would kill you and then teabag you
Me: in person probably. lolol.
Husband: I'll ask you if you like dragons
Husband: cause I'll be draggin these nuts across your face!
I am doing this contest on all of my blogs!
- TRESemme Naturals Shampoo & Conditioner
- L’oreal Youth Code
- John Frieda Full Repair Shampoo & Conditioner
- Garnier Fructis Pure Clean Shampoo & Conditioner
- Authentic 1920s Beaded Neck Wrap - I bought this at an antique store. It’s in a bit of rough condition but for like 90ish years old it’s not doing too bad.
- Blue Antique Cross Necklace - I also bought this at an antique store. I don’t know much about it… but it’s pretty!
- 1970s Shell Charm Bracelet - Estate sale find! I used to wear it a lot in summer. Very beachy!
- Pink Beaded Stretchy Bracelet - Not really special… just doesn’t get worn anymore.
- 5 Sets of Pewter Colored Earrings - I never wear earrings and these have been collecting dust for ages. There was a 6th pair but I couldn’t tell you the location.
- Like and reblog. Just once please. If you do it more than once it won’t up your chances.
- I’m not saying you have to follow me, but I am a pretty awesome person to follow. :P
Contest ends 2 weeks from today, July 3rd!
I’ll put all the names in a hat or a bowl and post a video of me picking so you know it’s fair! :)
Technology REALLY excites my husband.
Husband: this tablet is beautiful. it has a kickstand too
Husband: no word on pricing or availability yet
Me: Try and keep it in your pants. Lol
Husband: there's a cover that doubles as a multitouch keyboard
Husband: my pants are down and I just threw all my money at the screen